Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First

Feeling Lost in Singlehood?

Good evening, friends! Welcome to the ReadVault Club. I'm Tom Niklas, a seasoned writer and book reviewer. Please subscribe to me and join us in reading 52 books a year together.

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I. Introduction

We've been diving deep into some juicy topics recently, haven't we? Relationships, marriage, parenting - all that good stuff that keeps us busy and sometimes makes us pull our hair out. But you know what, there's another big part of life we haven't chatted about as much, and that's being single!

Yep, that's right. Whether you're happily single, navigating the dating scene, or taking a breather between relationships, being single is a chapter we all experience at some point. And let's be real, sometimes society forgets about us singles. The world's obsessed with finding "the one." If you're not coupled up, you're somehow missing out. I'm here to inform you that the statement is completely untrue! Being single can be an amazing time for growth, self-discovery, and fun.

So, today I wanted to switch gears and share my thoughts on a book that resonated with me – it's called "Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First" by John Kim. Now, before you click away thinking this is some anti-relationship rant, let me tell you, it's the opposite. The book makes it clear right from the start - it's not about ditching relationships altogether. It's about recognizing that the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with YOURSELF.

Think about it - we attract what we are, right? If you're constantly seeking validation from outside sources, you're more likely to end up in relationships that leave you feeling empty. But if you take the time to get to know yourself, and build your sense of worth and confidence, you'll radiate a different energy. And that's when you attract people who truly see and appreciate you for who you are.

II. Why Singlehood Matters

Let's be honest for a second, sometimes being single kind of sucks, right? Especially on those Friday nights when you're scrolling through Instagram, seeing everyone coupled up, having fun, and you're like, "Okay, universe, where's MY person?" Or those mornings when you wake up to an empty bed, the silence suddenly feels too loud. You know that feeling, right? That pang of loneliness can creep in and make you question everything.

It's normal to feel lonely sometimes, especially when the world is obsessed with finding "the one." Movies, TV shows, and even commercials – they're all about finding your soulmate and living happily ever after. It's easy to start feeling like something's wrong if you're not part of a pair. It looks like you're somehow incomplete without a significant other.

But "Single On Purpose" prompted me to reconsider singlehood in a new light. It's not some punishment or a waiting room for a relationship. It's prime time for YOU! A chance to figure out who you are, what you want, and what truly lights you up.

One story that stuck with me from the book was about a woman named Jessica. She was super active on social media, had thousands of followers, and always seemed to be dating someone new. But deep down, she was struggling with this feeling that she wasn't good enough.  Like, she needed a relationship to feel validated.

Jessica kept jumping from one guy to the next, always looking for that external approval, but it never really filled the void inside. She kept ending up in these short-lived, messy relationships, and she couldn't figure out why. It was like she was stuck in a repeating loop.

The author helped Jessica to realize that we often attract what we're putting out into the world. If we're constantly seeking validation from outside sources, we're more likely to end up in relationships that leave us feeling empty.

In the book, Jessica begins to delve into her past, including her childhood experiences and the early messages she received about love. She realized she was subconsciously seeking out guys who mirrored those early patterns of abandonment and instability. We are often attracted to what feels familiar, even if it's not good for us.

But the good news is, that once Jessica became aware of these patterns, she started making different choices. She realized she had the power to break free from those old scripts and create a new definition of love – one based on self-respect, boundaries, and a deep understanding of her worth.